Happy Ostara! Today is the 9th Handfasting Anniversary for my husband and I. To celebrate I thought I would give a glimpse at what the 10 years of knowing and loving this man has been like.
We met at a club called Rafters during a Masquerade themed party. Damon was one of the hosts since this was a Dancing in the Dark event (the Goth club night he and his friend the Revren ran back in the day). In this photo you see me with my friends from college and in the right towards the back, the hottie standing and talking with the band on his wrist, thats my husband. I remember the first time I saw him. I was handing over my I.D. at the front of the club and he came out to check on things and was laughing about how this was his event and he hadn’t bothered to put a mask on. The first thing I noticed was his gorgeous eyes and the easy way he laughed. I also noticed he was mostly surrounded by women the whole night – which he often rolls his eyes and references this photo…yea I was surrounded by guys. We didn’t do anything but look at each other that night and I left early because my brotherly friends didn’t want me out late.
We met online later. Dancing in the Dark had a website that Damon ran. I was looking for the next event and posted a few times in the forum. He messaged me to let me know I had a great name and we got to talking. We had a ton in common and I had no idea that this guy that was making me laugh over messenger was the hottie from the masquerade. He asked if I would come to his next event and I agreed (bringing 2 girl friends this time).
I won’t forget that night. At first I couldn’t find him so I asked Revren who pointed Damon out to me. He was walking away so I rushed up and tugged on the back of his trench coat. Damon turned and the look in his eyes was initially anger – I thought he might eat me (I later learned he has social anxiety and cannot stand for someone to come up behind him and touch him). Seeing me, his expression changed drastically and he kissed my hand.
Later that evening, we danced, we talked, and he asked me, “Do you have a boyfriend?” No. “Do you want one?”
My girl friends and I had to leave early – our ride had work the next day. Damon asked if I wanted to go to the afterparty instead but I was wary of taking off with a guy I’d only just met so I declined. He picked me up for lunch the next day and we were inseparable after that. The photo here is of us going to the Johnson City Celtic Festival to celebrate our shared Irish heritage.
We were hand fasted Ostara 2009. A future apart was just not feasable to either of us. He swore to take care of me for as long as our love lasted. I swore to love him forever.
We were engaged that summer after deciding to make our union legally binding.
Mabon 2010 we got married in New Orleans. I love that city and was thrilled that he felt the same way. We were married in front of St. Louis Cathedral (long story short we had issues with the cathedral’s Monsignor not wanting us to get married in Pirate’s alley next to the cathedral and only found out later he had no right to tell us we couldn’t marry there. Our minister moved us to the front of the building and if you’ve never been to New Olreans, Jackson Square is usually the noisiest area outside of Bourbon Street with musicians, fortune tellers, tourists, etc. During our union ceremony it was dead quiet. You could hear a pin drop and when Damon kissed me to end the ceremony the whole square exploded in cheers and music and celebration. Strangers came up and congratulated us, hugged us, blessed us. I never felt so blessed in my life.)
2012 we moved to Alaska. It was an amazing adventure.
2015 we gave birth to our son.
2017 we moved back to Tennessee and are thrilled to still be madly in love with each other.
Its funny. People ask me what keeps us so in love when so many of our friends have married and divorce over these last 9 years. I can’t say that we have any particular advice or secrets.
We talk all the time. We miss each other when we’re apart. We celebrate each other’s work. We enjoy caring for our child. We take time to enjoy our shared interests in magick, music, creativity, nature, and more. We have an awesome love life (yep, I’m keeping this as clean as I can in case family is reading…sorry). I don’t really know what to say other than – if you love someone, tell them every day, kiss them every day, take time to think of all the reasons why you love them. Its easy to get in a habit of anger and being annoyed but flexing our heart chakra love muscles is a fantastic way to live life with someone.
I’m so happy and looking forward to many more years with the man of my magickal dreams.